Most of us are only too aware of some of our weaknesses. Things like low self-esteem, worry, or being judgmental. We realise that we fall short of what we regard as our ideal self and that this calls for some self-improvement.
Yet what we each mean by self-improvement probably differs. What kind of person would we each like to be? Which characteristics matter? Are there excellent features we admire in others and would like more in ourselves?
Some of us need more creative or open-minded thinking. Alternatively, we might like more emotional intelligence or other character strengths critical for living life effectively.
The ideal might be something that involves what traditionally has been called moral virtue. A difficult to define quality that exemplifies higher principles of living. Because of this, it is not easy to draw the line between character strengths and moral virtues. On which side of it fall personal qualities such as bravery, discretion, cleanliness, commitment, empathy, dependability, self-discipline, forgiveness, and so on? Are these strengths or virtues? And does it matter?
Self-improvement in social functioning
When we mix in well with people, they tend to socially accept us. This will increase our confidence and self-esteem and decrease stress. One ideal is being attractive as possible. Capitalising on good looks, maintaining a proportioned body, exercising natural wit and charm; these all result in popularity. Having a better sensitivity to hair style, clothes, home furnishings, music and the arts, all could enhance one's social appeal to those with similar tastes.
Social acceptability is a virtue when it is needed for dealing with difficult people. Examples include trying to achieve useful things like bringing people together, befriending shy individuals, and offering constructive criticism.
Dishonesty is obviously socially unacceptable. However, a genuinely honest person cannot be identified simply as one who, for example, practices honest dealing and does not cheat. Such actions could be done merely because the individual thinks that honesty is the best policy, or because they fear being caught out.
Behaving decently and honouring debts are not virtues if only done for the sake of one's social standing. But perhaps they become a virtue if they express one's deeper values about having consideration for others.
Self-improvement at work
Just as we need to take regular exercise to improve body fitness and strength, so we can improve character strengths at work for improving customer relations and getting the best out of subordinates. If so, we could better learn how to be more decisive, manage time better, or develop selling, negotiation, collaboration or organising skills.
Success in business or one's profession can often bring about influence and control over other people. This might be the case within a large company or a public bureaucracy. However, how advancement is achieved has a moral dimension. Sincerity and integrity are in line with telling the truth. We should acknowledge other people's ideas and not misappropriate their property. This is in line with the principle of respecting other people.
Power can provide the means to make changes which others might not like. The exercise of power can seemingly do wonders for the ego. But this is just an illusion. The dictator Adolf Hitler used the character strengths of perseverance, leadership, and charisma. He sought political power for the sake of his chance to conquer the world and impose his vision of the German people on it no matter the cost. A virtuous person instead would have been doing what is right in serving the common good rather than self-interest.
Self-improvement within the family
You can't hide when living daily at close quarters with others. Family life tests our tolerance of other's behaviour. It reveals our character.
As family members develop, they change. A character strength is to be open to the new experience of changes in one's partner's roles and interests and the positive and negative emotions that come with this adjustment.
One strength as a parent is to share activities with children in a way that involves being prepared to go out of our comfort zone and be creative. A further strength is living mindfully in the present moment without looking back to the past with guilt or forward to the future with worry. Likewise, the trait of self-restraint harmonises with the moral principle of moderation and so we often see it as a virtue.
A moral idea is that the family bond should be nurtured by loyalty to one's partner and we should adopt no seductive manner towards anybody else. Consequently, purity of thought and respect for sexual fidelity rather than sexual licence has thus been a virtue.
"Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office." (Film star Mae West)
"In Hollywood a girl's virtue is much less important than her hairdo. (Film star Marilyn Monroe)
Aspects of moral virtue
For spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg, there are three aspects of virtue.
Thinking that moral principles are right.
Feeling these principles to be good.
Doing things in line with these principles.
My conclusions about self-improvement
Many, if not all, cultures have some sense of moral judgment and a principled distinction between "right and wrong". Examples are fairness, sexual fidelity, altruism. Such ideas inform us about what is virtuous.
Any character strength is virtuous if motivated by what is seen as a moral principle. To illustrate: developing effort and courage in political campaigning is a virtue if it genuinely supports the ethics of environmentalism, sexual equality or social justice. But not if done for selfish ends like fame and power.
So, the same human traits can be either a character strength or a moral virtue. It depends on the moral principles if any behind their actions. Without a desire for what is right and good, a character strength has no virtue, no matter whether it be courage, generosity, gratitude, or self-control.
When we know what to improve within ourselves, then this helps with the ancient question 'How should I then live?'
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